I’ll relive this moment again and again like a nightmare –
falling, falling, falling… With no apparent end.
I should have been there – I knew the end was near
We don’t own ourselves anymore – our souls belong to the corporate Kings
We hardly follow our true spirit and thoughts –
It’s the almighty “mission” that guides everything.
I can barely move; my heart is too heavy,
Can’t move my hands beyond my head,
I am struggling to comprehend that my soul mate is dead.
Who can I turn to, to help carry the weight?
Of the dreadful life ahead of me in my very empty world?
Certainly not these Kingpins whose only worry now
Is what about those deadlines & numbers
And how will those stats unfurl.
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses is all she ever got
Life balance – absurd! Family friendly, Thoughtful, compassionate — I think NOT!
Too late for my protest – She begged that I follow I my heart
But I’d forgotten where to find it in the middle of this muck & mire
That I jump into every day – selling my soul as if it were on an open mart.
I pray for delivery from this suffocating space in which I find myself
Weeping into empty hands, with an empty heart bled dry from grievous neglect.
So caught up in avoiding those dreadful words: “You’re Fired!”
Perhaps struggling to keep the “successful” image alive.
Was it the overwhelming sparkle from that brand new SUV?
Or feeding my wife’s addiction to late night QVC?
Is my ego so very fragile that I fail to see the true meanings in this life?
Will I ever, ever recover from losing my dear wife?
How in the world did I ever get so lost?
Maybe the green cover of the Kentucky Blue grass
Surrounding our perfectly pruned trees
Are more important than my family’s spiritual and emotional needs.
Questions, questions, questions is all there will ever be.
I just don’t know what in this world will now become of me?
Poetic Words from The TurtleQueen